A Life Concern Answered
Katie Gardner is a fully-qualified CBT Counsellor and 11-year expat based on the border of 47/24. She’s here to answer your questions.
Katie Gardner - a life concern answered
Q. I constantly feel very low, overwhelmed and anxious. A couple of times it has seemed easy to end it all. Not that I would, but I am worried about the fact that it has crossed my mind.
A. So many of us, so often, feel this way and what is called for is a period of reflection, evaluation and some (probably very difficult) introspection. Until you really look at what is causing this emotional distress, in detail, you will continue to be on the rollercoaster.
Self-care is not just a 5-minute bubble bath or half an hour not looking at your phone. It is sitting down with an open mind, a piece of paper and a pen and really thinking about all people and situations in your current life and evaluating their impact on your emotional health. It is making a spreadsheet of your debt, of sticking to a positive morning routine, of cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from or trying to ignore your problems – and calling the distraction a solution.
It takes bravery to face what is wrong and sometimes the fixes are not easy but, with increased clarity of thought, they can often be ameliorated into something more acceptable and liveable-with. It’s also the small stuff, like allowing yourself to sometimes having a dirty kitchen or deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be to lose 2 stone or to keep up with ‘friends’ from whom emotionally you gain nothing.
It is making a conscious, evaluated choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from. You can be happy but first you need to know, in detail, what is making you unhappy. Start now and I wish you well.
First published in the Jan/Feb 2020 issue of The Local Buzz